7 Life Lessons for Young Men to Become Successful

Introduction: For the longest time, I thought that every lesson that I will learn in life will be through my own experiences. And then I walked through life with that burden on my shoulders that I have to go through every experience myself and no one's out there to help me or support me. Where an invaluable lesson that I learned was that I can actually fast track all of the things that I'm trying to teach myself by learning through the experiences of others. And that's something that I wish I did learn a lot earlier, because without a doubt, I've been blessed with being surrounded by the right people. And I'm going to be sharing with you the lessons that I've learned from people who have taught me lessons which are ultimately the reason I am successful.

Lesson 1: Life is a War A lot of times, I think back to the country that I grew up in in Pakistan. I didn't foresee myself actually accounting too much. But that all changed when I started reading more books so I can learn from successful people and also surrounding myself with a higher caliber of individuals. So, lesson number one was something I learned from my father. He always used to say to me, Zindagi Jange, which is Urdu for life is a war. To be fair, at first, when I heard it, I thought that was pretty dramatic, because I was a child, I was a kid, and life was easy back then. And it was easy mostly because of my father, because he had gone through really tough things. That guy's life was a war because he had dropped out of school at 13 and started working. And he worked in construction up until the point that he bought his own construction company. From his perspective, life was a war because he had to fight tooth and nail for everything that he earned in his life. Eventually, that stayed in for me, that in fact, life is extremely difficult and challenging, and you have to be strong mentally and physically. If life is a war, you need to become a warrior. So that means is that you really have to not only be strong physically, but you also have to be strategic in your way of thinking in the way that you are handling your own life. And sure, you're going to lose some battles every now and then, but that's all right. That's part of your journey. There are no losses, only lessons. So if you keep moving forward, eventually success will follow itself.

Lesson 2: Endure to Enjoy Lesson number two is also something that my father gave me. Um, you'll see a trend over here. My father who passed away, unfortunately, you'll He left a lot of lessons with me, which to this day I carry. And the second lesson is actually that you must endure to enjoy. Now, the backstory for this is that I, as some of you may know, grew up in Pakistan. I used to get myself in trouble, and I used to hang out with a few people. We used to go to parties and whatnot, but it would always be underground. It would be at someone's home where the parents are out of town. So, I had gone with one of my best friends, and we had gone out to a party in the area, in the neighborhood, and we had gotten extremely drunk, like blacked out. And I remember coming home, probably around 1 or 2 AM, and my buddy was hungry, so he ended up ordering some food. And he even asked me if I want something. I was like, dude, I'm knackered. Like, I'm done. Like, I'm just going to crash now. And he ended up actually ordering some McDonald's because that was the only thing that was, I think, 24 hours, in the area. Next thing you know, the McDonald's delivery guy comes, calls my friend, and my friend had also passed out. So, they call, they call, they call. Nobody picks up the phone, so the guy starts ringing the doorbell. And then my dad wakes up in the middle of the night, goes to the door, gets the McDonald's, pays for it, comes back into my room, sees my buddy passed out, and I'm passed out as well, and it looked like we were fucked up. Not much happened that night, actually. My dad was just like, hey, go to sleep, we'll talk in the morning. But he just sat me down. He was the coolest man in the room. And he very calmly explained to me that right now I don't have anything in life and I'm already giving it away. He's like, I'm basically throwing away stuff that I don't even have. And he said he understands it, that I want to enjoy life. He gets it. But he said that in order to enjoy, you must endure first. So, he wasn't telling me to stop partying. In fact, what he was kind of telling me by proxy was that I must earn it. I must earn the right to enjoy the things that I have in life. And that lesson that he gave me was way more powerful than being hit or being scolded or being ridiculed. He could have done all of those things, but he actually gave me a profound lesson, which embedded in me the idea that sure, I can enjoy my life. But it has to be earned. I don't have a right to enjoy everything.

Lesson 3: QCC - Question, Contemplate, Conquer Lesson number three is QCC. Question, contemplate, conquer. This lesson is probably the most important for everyone watching to be learning about, not only because of AI-generated content where everyone's sort of making these deep fakes and all of those things, but also the fact that we really can't trust our news channels anymore. We live in a world of opinions, and those opinions are taken as facts. And the problem is, we're not fact-checking any of them. But it is our prerogative to actually go and anything that we hear, that we question it. For me personally, this came about a few years ago when I was diagnosed with clinical depression. Or clinically diagnosed with depression. And depression isn't really something you know about in Pakistan. You don't talk about mental health. So I was shocked by learning about that, etc. But then the funny thing is that that became a part of my identity. I started labeling myself as someone who's depressed. I used to look at myself in the mirror and I go like, Oh, you're that depressed guy. And I sure as hell know for a fact that that did not help me at all. In fact, at one point I got into antidepressants, started taking those and then those were supposedly making me feel better. But maybe this is personal, but I was with a woman and I couldn't get it up and I was shocked. I was like, why is this happening? What the fuck's going on? So you can think about what's going on in my mind at that time. I believe I'm depressed. I'm already pretty low on self-esteem. And I'm with a woman and I can't get it up. Like, my confidence was shot at that point. But I spoke to the doctor about it and he told me that, Oh, that's a natural side effect of some of these antidepressants and then I should start taking another medication which will help counter those side effects. And I said, fuck that, that's bullshit that I have to take one medication and because of those side effects, I have to take some other ones. Now what if I have side effects from the second medication that I'm taking? So I realized that I'm in something that felt like quicksand and I can't get stuck in it. So I said, fuck that. I started researching and contemplating about how I can solve that naturally. Googled what these antidepressants do and what they're actually doing is increasing the amount of serotonin that is produced in your body. So I started looking at how I can increase serotonin production naturally, and I found, for example, like Turkey sandwiches where wheat bread help out. Probiotics and Greek yogurt help out. Salmon. I found out a diet and all the dietary changes that I need to make. And I was doing all the other things already because I was working out. I was journaling, meditating, all of that stuff. So I figured that if I started changing my diet, that would help. It helped to a certain extent. But I also realized that I need to kind of strengthen my mind further. So I went into a jiu-jitsu gym and started doing jiu-jitsu. When I started doing jiu-jitsu, I found myself challenging myself physically and mentally to the point that within the next few months, I felt like I had completely overcome my depression, so to speak. I always think about that because I know there are certain people who may be divided on this about depression being real versus not. But I always go back to one thing that I had always heard about when I was young, which was happiness is a choice. Everyone heard that. You get examples of people living in poorer countries and you're like, Oh, they're still happy because happiness is a choice. Well, I started contemplating that and I thought about if happiness is a choice, how can depression not be? And I stand on that hill that for some people, yes, depression may be real. I do think that there are certain changes that happen in your body, chemically speaking. But the fact that you are telling yourself that you are depressed does not help your cause. In fact, what helps your cause is for you to believe that you are not depressed and to counter that with certain measures and actions. So once you question, then you contemplate, and then you can conquer. As the old adage goes, you must conquer yourself before you conquer the world. And a part of that is conquering your own mind, thinking about what limiting beliefs you have so that you can overcome them. And then eventually you can be in control of your life's trajectory.

Lesson 4: Talk When You Want to Teach, but Listen When You Want to Learn Lesson number four that I learned was talk when you want to teach, but listen when you want to learn. I don't know what it is, I don't know who I learned it from, but I've always been a big talker. I have gotten comfortable over the years to talk less, but I wish I learned that earlier. Because what I was always trying to do was maybe prove who I am, maybe trying to one-up another person. There is definitely an ego play that I was engaging in. And there's a time to talk. And that's when you try to teach the other person what you know. But if you're trying to learn what the other person knows, that's when you should listen. Now, it's important to delineate that you must learn from the right people. You have so many people online preaching shit and you don't know who to trust and that's fair enough. I always try to question that about whoever I'm watching, do they have the credibility that comes with experience? So I follow a general rule of thumb that I don't want to listen to people who are sharing their opinions. I want to listen to people who are sharing experiences. And to a degree, I want those experiences to also be relevant to me or relatable to a degree. If someone comes to me and gives me a lesson on how to turn a million into 10 million because they got that million from their trust fund, their daddy's trust fund, that has less bearing for me. Um, it's remarkable anyone who will 10x their net worth. I can still respect it and appreciate it, but the reality is that it simply doesn't resonate with me. And that's why I try to listen and learn from other people who have gone through some hardship in life, whose life wasn't always easy. And they've had to earn a lot of the things that they've gone through. Now, those are not the only people that I would listen to. For example, when I'm at the Jiu Jitsu gym or if I'm working with my personal trainer at the gym, I listen to them because they're the experts. They have gone through years of experience, which is evident in how they, I can see that they would either lift weights or how they talk about it, or how they would do certain submissions in Jiu Jitsu. I can see that they have the experience which they have amassed through the years, so I would be a fool if I wasn't listening to them. So try to decipher, not only that you want to listen but listen to the right people, because otherwise, that could backfire real fast.

Lesson 5: Wear the Big Shoes, You'll Grow Into Them Lesson number five is wear the big shoes, you'll grow into them. Now I work at a corporate job, and a few years ago, I was in this position where as a consultant, my direct manager, he was getting promoted to a different role. So his position got opened up, and I was selected to take over his reign. And I was not confident in my own ability at that time. I actually couldn't believe that I was being offered that position because I was the youngest person on the team and I was also the last person who had joined the team. So it didn't make sense to me that I would be the one managing people who are, um, and but then I spoke to my manager, the one who got promoted, because he's also a mentor of mine. And I was telling him about how I don't think I'm ready. How do I know if I'm ready, asking him all these questions. And he very adamantly told me that if I'm going to wait to be ready, I'll never be ready. So, in that moment, I felt really scared about the fact that there are going to be big shoes to fill. Because he was arguably one of the best managers that I've ever had, one of the best leaders that I've ever worked for. He was the type of guy that I would run through a brick wall for. Because I had so much respect and admiration for this man. And I was really afraid of that at that point. About stepping into his shoes. And those shoes were too big for me. But what I learned was that it's okay to step into those shoes, even though at that time that I thought that I might not be big enough to fill those shoes. The fact is that through experience, I will grow into them. And that's something I think naturally a lot of people may suffer from imposter syndrome. If you have certain limiting beliefs, if you think that you're not qualified, that's natural for when those things come around or come into your mind. What's important is that you have clarity and self-belief, but more importantly, the fact that I had a mentor who was able to guide me and help me in that situation also goes such a long way.

Lesson 6: Fight Fire with Water Lesson number six that I learned was fight fire with water. And this is something that one of my childhood best friends taught me because even when I was, I think, 13, 14, I might have met this friend when I was in fourth grade, and I'm still in touch with him to this day. But even back then we used to have really deep and philosophical conversations. And I was really sort of vengeful back then. I probably had some level of anger problems or maybe not even anger problems, but perhaps the inability to manage and control my anger. So me and my friend used to go back and forth about this, and I made my case about the fact that Life is a war, it's difficult, and you have to be able to teach the other person a lesson if they wrong you. And he kept making his point in the opposite direction. And eventually, I think at one point I said to him that you have to fight fire with fire. To which he responded, saying, you can't fight fire with fire, that'll only grow it. You have to fight fire with water. And that stuck with me to this day because arguably it shaped how I started thinking about getting revenge or getting one up on the other person who wrongs you. So that's a lesson that I've never forgotten and I still keep that memory fresh in my mind because the truth is that you have much more peace in your own life when you let go of things, when you are the bigger person. And even though it can be difficult at times when someone else does anger you, the best answer to anger is silence.

Lesson 7: Give for Good, Not for Gain So the final lesson that I want to give you today is to give for good, not for gain. When I moved to the U.S., at first, I went to community college and then eventually, I transferred to a four-year university. It was a Catholic university. It was the best scholarship that I got, and I was short on money, so that's the one that I chose, even though I'm a Muslim. And even though I transferred quickly, I made a few good friends over there. And as I said, I'm a chatty guy, so it wasn't really difficult for me to do that. And I remember one day that I walked into the library and there were a few people that I had just met recently. So I went and said, what's up to them. They asked me, how's everything going? What's new? And I told them that I have an interview the next day for an internship. And they asked me if I'm ready. Well, specifically this one girl asked me if I'm ready. And I told her cockily, It's cockily a word, I don't know. But in a cocky way, I basically said, Yeah, of course I am ready. Why wouldn't I be? And she asked me right away, Alright, let's try it. Tell me a little bit about yourself. I was like, um, My name is Adil, um, I go to Seton Hall University. A lot of buts, a lot of ums, and all of that stuff. And quickly, she cuts me off and says, no, no, no, no, stop. Stop, stop, stop. You're not ready. And I'm just looking at her going like, I barely know you. I probably got to meet her just two weeks ago in class or something like that. She's like, you're not ready. Call me later today, and I'm going to help you out. I was like, okay, sure, why not? So I take her number down later that night, I give her a call. She's like, no, no, no, no, no. We got to FaceTime. She FaceTimes me, and it's her and one of her friends, and both of them are like, well, let's help you out. And then. I asked them, how should I fix it? And they kind of walked me through how I want to answer those basic questions that I need to be preparing for, what those are. Which again, keep in mind that this was the first internship that I was applying for. I hadn't really had an internship before. Uh, not in the US anyway. So, I wasn't aware at that time that there are some basic questions that everyone, every interviewer is going to ask. They talked to me about what those are. They told me how to prepare for them. And they went through that probably for the next 30-45 minutes just staying on a FaceTime with me and showed me how to do that. The next day I went to the internship interview, and I absolutely crushed it. And I learned about the power of having good people in your life. That's probably one of the biggest shifts that happened in my life was at university when I transferred. It's when I started surrounding myself with winners and beyond winners. I think that what stood out about this girl for me was the fact that she didn't really know me. I wasn't her friend. She went out of her way to help me without any expectation of anything in return. And she's one of my best friends today. She's married actually to one of my other good friends as well. And that's the type of person that I value not only for my own life but also for how it changed the trajectory of my corporate career. There's a fantastic book by Will Guidara who ran Eleven Madison Park. The book is called Unreasonable Hospitality. And it's all about how you should give, give, give. And actually, the power of giving is what helps you receive more in the future. And Will Guidara's story is that he took over Eleven Madison Park when it was not really even in the top 50 restaurants in the world, and it eventually became the number one restaurant in the world. And his philosophy was all baked into the fact that you must give unreasonable hospitality. Alex Hormozi actually talks about this a lot as well when he talks about how you should give a lot in the beginning to the point that the person can't believe that there's so much value packed in your offer, in your product. But outside of that book, I learned that lesson through the actions of my friend who led by example. This was probably something that I had to learn because as someone who had a lot of fluctuations financially growing up where there was a lot of financial instability, I would keep money close to my chest and I would be quite miser about it. And I guess I had this fear that if I give, I am losing out and everything that I would get would have some underlying incentive. That I would be thinking about, about what the gain would be for me, and thanks to my friend that started shifting for me where it's not just about what I can take, what's really important is what you can give.

Conclusion: Life is going to teach you lessons. There's no way around it. In fact, you should be seeking out those lessons because the more you learn, the more your life will benefit, and the more prosperity will come into your life. These are seven of my most important life lessons that I've learned, and I hope it gives you some perspective and helps you unlock something in your life or change certain behavior because ultimately that's what it's about. You can watch a video after another, but what I want you to really take away from this one is how can you apply one of these lessons in your life today?